


But He Didn’t Answer

by tinylights



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (not completely canon compliant anyway), Angst and Feels, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-20 05:20:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15526935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinylights/pseuds/tinylights
Summary: “So here we are.”He must have been dreaming. He must have missed something. But, God, that voice… it broke his damn heart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ...yeah I’m still not over IW so I’ll just keep on writing
> 
> fair warning: the tags in this work will change frequently, depending on where this story goes. I will update them, as well as add new chapters, as often as possible.
> 
> much love ~
> 
> \- tinylights

“So here we are.”

He must have been dreaming. He must have missed something. But, God, that voice… it broke his damn heart.

The man stood inches away, so close beside him that he could have reached out and touched their fingertips together. He knew it, and yet, he couldn’t see him.

_Buck. Bucky, what happened? What’s going on? I haven’t seen you for months, where are you? I can find you, I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again-_

He tried to say something- anything- but no words left his mouth. He couldn’t even move his head, and everything was dark.

A cool, solid finger hooked around the palm at his side.

“They can’t keep us apart forever, pal. They’ve tried before, but I’ll be damned if they ever make it work.”

 

-

 

Drenched in sweat, his head whipped from side to side. Peeling paint, old tv- telltale marks of his tiny motel room.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and planted his elbows on his knees. Scrubbed his eyes. Searched in the dark.

He wasn’t here.

Steve turned his gaze to the ceiling.

_Was he ever really here?_


	2. Chapter 2

Steve had been on his own for a while. Tony had offered him a place to stay while he worked on finding a way to bring them back, but Steve had turned him down.

_Bring them back_. Like half the population of the fucking universe was stuck on the wrong side of the Pacific.

Steve took another swig from the bottle and coughed. Strong stuff, not strong enough.

He unplugged his phone from the charger and tapped out the passcode, ignoring the flurry of messages he’d received from anyone who still made an effort to keep in contact, and found a local news station.

He didn’t know what he had been expecting. Same shit, different day.

‘Scientists Are Puzzled… Doctors Confounded… Tony Stark, Will The Silence Ever End?’

He switched off the phone and tossed it aside.

Sleep, drink, sleep more, eat what you can find.

Sleep so you have a chance of seeing his face one more time.

Keep drinking, hope the serum has a breaking point.

One way or the other, you will see him again.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve couldn’t remember falling asleep. He could have sworn he was in the corner store a second prior.

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that, Rogers?”

The same darkness overwhelmed him, the same force kept a hold on his limbs.

But there was a metal arm around his shoulders, hair twitching at his temple as the man, presumably, shook his head in dismay.

“I mean, drinking your life away? Really? Punk, I’d be happy to see you again if you weren’t tryin’ to kill yourself in the process.”

_Why can’t I see you? Why can’t I move-_

“You got a lot of questions. I have no idea how we’re here, but Strange made a bunch of weird twitchy motions, and then I was in your head.”

_Strange?_

“He can’t hold it for long, you have to listen-“

 

-

 

“-to me! Sir, are you alright-“

Steve sat collapsed in the middle of an aisle, immediately grateful that he avoided knocking over any shelves in the fall.

He shook off the remaining bits of blackness clinging to his field of vision and met the eyes of a very panicked cashier.

“Kid,” Steve muttered, “what happened?”

He threw up his hands. “I don’t know, dude! I came around the corner to ask if you needed help or something- you’d been standing there for like eight minutes, I figured you were looking for something- and suddenly you just-“ He cut himself off, lifted a hand, and let it fall into the other. “Y’know?”

“Yeah.” Steve blinked, looked away.

“Y-you okay, sir?”

“Fine. Thank you.” Steve pushed himself up from the floor, feeling more tired than he had in _years_ , and stumbled out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve stared down at his phone, thumb hovering over the ‘Call Contact’ icon.

He sighed.

_ Bite the bullet, Rogers. _

The phone rang twice before he got a gruff response.

“‘Bout time, Captain Punctual.”

“Tony. It’s Bucky.”

A brief silence. Nervous chuckle.

“You thinkin’ ‘bout your boyfriend, Rogers?”

“Strange.”

The silence that ensued was different; it felt weighted, almost. 

“What about him?”

“This is gonna sound crazy.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I saw Bucky.”

“When. How.”

“I don’t know, some kind of dream? I can’t move or speak, but I can hear him and feel him and-“

“You tried humming in Morse?”

“Tony, this is-“

“Just sayin’. Okay, so you’re seeing visions of your b-“

“Tony, I swear to-“

“-est friend, jeez, fine, whatever. Ever heard of stress, Rogers?”

“Tony. He said Strange got him there.”

“...shit.”

“Tony?”

“How soon can you be here?”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Couple days?”

“Fine.”

Tony ended the call.


	5. Chapter 5

He hadn’t really been tracking where he’d been going, hadn’t realized how far he’d gone.

He stayed in Wakanda for the first two months. People assumed Thanos had gone back to his own planet, and once they realized that couldn’t be helped, they stopped looking for him. The last time he’d seen her, Shuri sat hunched in front of an array of screens, trying desperately to run her country and get her brother back at the same time. Tremors wracked her shoulders. Okoye kept silent watch from her position beside the doorway. She nodded at him as he walked away.

He ended up back in Brooklyn. If what he’d lost wasn’t in Wakanda, perhaps by some miracle he’d show up in the crowded streets of their past.

He waited another three months. Took up drinking, even though he could just barely feel its effects past the initial burn going down. It gave him something to do, offered the promise of feeling something.

By the sixth month, he was somewhere in Montana with 159 missed calls, a stolen truck, and just enough cash to last a few more nights in the motel.

He tossed the last of his possessions into the backseat and slammed the door, sputtered the engine to life and started driving.


	6. Chapter 6

Reporters camped outside Stark Tower for days at the beginning. Tony moved base to the Hub, and he didn’t go back.

Steve had no idea what he’d find when he returned to a place he’d briefly considered a refuge.

He stood outside the door for less than a second before it opened.

“Good morning, Captain.”

Steve winced. “Friday, where’s Tony?”

“In back, sir. He’s been waiting for you.”

“Thank you.”

 

-

 

Tony sat in the middle of the Hub’s massive back porch, watching the sky without seeming to register anything at all. Steve observed him for a few minutes. Eventually, Tony sighed and abruptly turned to face him.

“Well, you look terrible. Ever heard of a razor, Woodsman? Or maybe a nice pair of garden shears?”

“Hey, Tony.”

“What, no ‘darn you’s? No ‘shut the heck up’ for your ol’ pal?”

Steve crossed his arms, looked to the horizon to see the sun just barely rising over the treeline.

“What happened to sleeping ‘til twelve every day?”

Tony looked down, passed a hand over his eyes.

“Pepper?”

He shook his head.

“Some space people or whatever picked me up, brought me back to Earth when I asked. There were so many damn piles of ash in the Tower- hell, in the whole city of New York. She- ah. Didn’t answer her phone. Not any time I called. So- yeah.”

Steve met Tony’s gaze. “I’m sorry, Tony.”

Tony looked away. “Yeah, we- we all got someone who’s gone.”

Steve joined Tony on the concrete step. After a moment, he spoke again.

“How’d you know about Bucky?”

“Nat.” Tony looked to Steve, searched his face for a moment. “She lived here for a while, left to find you- have you been _drinking_ , golden boy?”

Steve grimaced. “Fuck you, Stark.”

“Hey, I’m just- you’re not- you don’t look so good.”

“Yeah.”

Neither man spoke for a while, not until the sun had risen a ways above the treeline.

“Who the hell is Strange?”


	7. Chapter 7

Nat showed up the day after.

Steve was bent over a cup of coffee. Friday didn’t tell him she was in the building, and the possibility didn’t even occur to him until a soft voice broke his reverie.

“Well, you’ve looked better.”

Steve peered over his shoulder. “Can’t say the same for you.”

She smirked. “Always the gentleman.” She stepped toward him and slid onto the chair beside his, leaning a forearm on the breakfast bar and peering at his face in the still-dark kitchen. “How’s it going?”

Steve took another sip from his mug. “How do you think?”

“Well I wouldn’t know, seeing as I lost all contact with you for half a year.”

“About that-“

“Yeah. I’m sorry too.”

Steve nodded, pursed his lips. “How’re you?”

She shifted. “Oh, y’know. Just found someone who I can talk to for the first time in a while, and he doesn’t seem much for talking. Same old.”

Steve nodded again.

“Oh, and uh. Tony said to bring you this.” She held up an electric razor, placed it next to Steve’s folded hands.

Steve sighed. “Yeah. I stopped counting the times I’ve been told I need a shave.”

Nat smiled. “Maybe there’s a reason for that.”

She hopped neatly from her perch, pausing to look at Steve.

“You- Steve?”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, turning to face her.

“I- thanks. For coming back, I mean. It’s  nice to talk to someone who cares a little.”

She left the room before he could answer.


	8. Chapter 8

“Steve?”

He could have sighed in relief, had he been able to move. He hadn’t seen him in- god, it’d been days.

Wait.

 _I can_ see _him._

He stood about a foot away, solid and clear and _real._

He wore civilian clothes, save for a pair of black boots that were pretty clearly Wakandan tech. His left hand was covered with a cheaply-knit black glove that stretched and showed flecks of metal through the stitching. A few strands of hair hung loosely over his eyes, eyes that still shone the same pale grey as they always had. He swept the pieces behind his ears, studying Steve the same way Steve peered at him.

“You’re lookin’ better. Someone finally got you to shave that damn mug.”

_Why are you always so calm, how are you not afraid of this place-_

Bucky blinked.

“Strange says he left something in his, ah. Sanctum? I dunno, but it’s some kinda ancient thing. A scroll that you’re supposed to read, it’s got green handles. It’s supposed to explain what the hell happened to us.”

Bucky glanced behind his shoulder, nodded at something, and clapped Steve on the shoulder with his flesh-and-bone hand.

“Strange says it’s time to go.”

 _No, wait, Bucky,_ no _-_

Steve blinked, and he was back in his room of the hub. He could faintly hear Tony and Nat arguing about something outside his door. The conversation halted when he spoke.

“...uh, come in…?”

Nat flung the door open and ran to his side, placing a device in his hand. A holographic screen appeared beside his bed, and she started swiping furiously on it.

Steve looked around, confused.

“...Tony? What-“

Tony shrugged helplessly. “I thought you would have told her about your freaky dreams! I was just-“

“My god,” Nat murmured. She made a final swipe across the screen to enlarge the image.

Steve stared at the screen. It was Bucky, clear as day, just as he had seen him seconds ago.

“You believe him now, Tony?”

“Hey, I believed him when he said Strange was involved.” He peered closer at a running stream of glyphs flashing across the bottom of the screen. “No idea what that is, though.”

“Wakandan. Something about… it’s not a dream… numbers, maybe? We’ll have to bring this to Shuri, she can probably figure it out.”

Steve looked between the two of them before focusing his gaze on Nat.

“Did you just… are you viewing my memories right now?”

“Yeah, but it would have been even better if Stark hadn’t been such an ass about using Wakandan tech in ‘his house.’”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “How’d you know I was dreaming of Bucky specifically?”

To his surprise, Tony’s face softened slightly.

“You were, ah. You sat straight up in bed and stared forward at a blank TV screen for several minutes. Friday noticed, thought you might be having some sort of episode. She’s gonna track whether that happens again.”

Nat tapped the screen, and pieces of what Bucky had said filtered through the air.

“”Green scroll”…” Her eyebrows knit. “”Sanctum”… that’s the thing you were telling me about?” she asked, turning to Tony. “In New York?”

“Yeah… shit, alright. Wakanda first, or New York?”

“Wakanda.” Nat and Tony turned to look at Steve. He shrugged. “Whatever the Wakandan script says- it might help us.”

Tony nodded, turning to leave the room. “Alright. Pack your bags, kids. We fly out in an hour.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we now return from hiatus to our regularly scheduled fanfic.
> 
> (i just started my first year of college, in case any of you were wondering why i disappeared off the face of the earth for a while)
> 
> thank you for being patient with me as i figure out exactly where i’m going with this story. if you noticed any mistakes in previous chapters, they should all have been fixed now.
> 
> much, much love.
> 
> ~ tinylights

Shuri met them at the helipad, arms crossed, surrounded by Dora Milaje. Natasha tilted her head and studied Shuri for a moment before stepping closer to the girl and drawing her arms around her in embrace. Shuri closed her eyes and folded her arms around Natasha’s back for a second before the rare moment of vulnerability was gone. Natasha stepped back, saluted Shuri. Shuri mirrored her with a nod.

She turned to face Steve.

“Hello, Captain. Stark.”

Steve nodded, swallowed. Tony looked away.

“How’s, um,” Tony began. He paused, glanced up, and continued. “How’s running a country working out for you?”

Shuri forced a smile. “It’s been… eventful.” She turned away and motioned for the three of them to follow. “Come.”

 

—

 

The evidence of the fight had almost disappeared from the streets and fields of Wakanda.  _ Almost. _ The rolling plains lining the country still held the scars of battle, but grasses had begun to grow over the gouges and bodies no longer littered the landscape.

Steve turned away from the window, his ears ringing.

“This… I don’t fully understand.”

Natasha’s eyebrow twitched. “It’s Wakandan, right?”

“Yes, but… well, yes.” Shuri enlarged a bit of script on one of her computers. “You said it involves a… wizard’s house?”

“Yep,” Tony quipped.

Shuri nodded. She didn’t even look unconvinced; nothing phased her anymore. “So this wizard must have a library or some sort of organizational system within his house. That would make the most sense. Either way, this is what it reads.”

She passed her finger over the script, and it revealed a seemingly random series of letters and numbers.

“It is no code,” she murmured, flicking her gaze over the flashing tabs at the bottom of the screen. “I have had several programs searching it for the past 20 minutes to no avail. Either it is unbreakable to all but the wizard, or it means something in the context of the sanctum.” She tapped a button and waved her hand to collapse the screens, picking up a small piece of paper as it came out of a slot in her desk. 

She handed it to Steve. 

“Find him.” She reached for his hand and returned his steady grip. She continued in a broken whisper.

“Find our brothers.” 


	10. Chapter 10

Steve sat hunched in the corner of the industrial jet, arms crossed over his chest. Every so often, he took a swig from a flask that he honestly didn’t remember the contents of. Tony had already asked him about it twice- once to try to get a laugh out of Rogers, once due to genuine concern.

“Steve.”

Dead stillness. The flask fell to the floor.

“Steve, listen. Hey, buddy-“ a cool metal hand gripped his shoulder- “c’mon, I ain’t got all day.”

He could still see the helicarrier.

He turned to his right.

Relief.

“Buck, my _God_ -“ he could speak, holy _shit_ he could speak- “Bucky-“

“Hey.” Bucky grinned. He reached out and brought Steve into his arms like the man was a child.

_I knew I would find you, I knew I would see you again- Bucky, I knew it, I never gave up-_

God, it felt so real.

“Good to finally hear your voice again, pal.” Bucky pulled away. “You on your way to New York?”

“Yeah, uh- um, we are- Bucky, how-“

Bucky shrugged. “I have no idea. Wizards, I guess.”

Steve chuckled a bit- a quick, breathless exhale. “Yeah.” He shook his head, chuckled again. “ It’s, um. We’re looking for a green scroll?”

“The handles are green. It’s supposed to be about a foot and a half long.”

“Right.”

The smile faded from Bucky’s features. He paused, his eyes tracing Steve’s face for a moment, before huffing a small, humorless laugh. “You look worse every time I see you.” He shook his head. “What the hell’d you do when I was- when you thought I was dead the first time?”

Steve looked away. “I, uh-“ He ran a hand over his face, took a breath, let it out slow. “This is- this was- it’s, um. It’s different, y’know? I- I had you back, I had you- I had you _safe_ , and then-”

“Right.”

Silence settled between the two for a moment, the hum of the ship surrounding the two with a gentle, familiar din.

“Promise me somethin’.”

Steve glanced up. “Anything.”

Bucky cracked a smirk. “Before I see you next. Shave that mangy mess a little, will ya?”

That got Steve to smile a bit. “Jerk,” he muttered.

“I mean, at least trim it. You don’t really fit the whole lumberjack role, Rogers.”

“Alright, alright-“

“I’m just sayin,” Bucky raised his hands in mock-defense, “you look kinda stupid-scary. Not a good look.”

“ _I get it!_ ” he laughed.

“There we go,” Bucky sat back a bit, crossing his arms over his chest. “There’s the kid I grew up with.”

Steve’s laughter faded, but his smile remained.

Bucky winced.

“Gotta go?”

“Yeah, pal. Wizard’s calling.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Oh, and Steve?”

“Yeah.”

Bucky clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Wait ‘til I get back to have another drink, okay? None of this shit,” he gestured to the spilled flask on the floor with his flesh-and-blood hand, “not anymore.”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, Buck. Got it.”

Steve glanced aside, faintly realizing that Natasha had been watching their exchange from around the co-pilot’s seat with a faint smile. When he glanced back, Bucky was gone.

He shook his head.

“He’s gone again, isn’t he?”

Steve felt his chest stutter. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s- he vanished.”

Natasha nodded.

For a minute or so, neither said a word.

“You’re good with him.”

Steve blinked. “Meaning?”

“Meaning,” Natasha murmured, “I haven’t seen you genuinely happy in months.”

Steve closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall of the plane. “Yeah. Yeah, me neither.”

Natasha turned away.


	11. Chapter 11

“What the hell do you mean it doesn’t exist?”

The black-robed, stern figure shook his head. “I know of no such scroll. If I did, it would have been the first one I examined.”

Shuri was right, the sanctum did apparently have a library. However, Wong was insistent that they not enter it. Steve glanced about the room, over all of the glass cases containing mysterious items ranging in appearance from ancient to seemingly commonplace. Quiet morning light filtered through the bulbous window above them, and soft light from an intangible source lit the rest of the room.

“Are you absolutely, _positively-_ “

“Tony.”

“Nat, this is bull _shit_. That was our only chance to get them back, and you’re just going to roll over and accept-“

“Enough!”

The two of them turned to Steve. His expression was twisted, his chest was in knots. “This isn’t just about you. This isn’t just about Pepper. This is about the entire universe, do you understand that?” Tony opened his mouth to respond, and Steve held up a hand. “Don’t. Everyone in this goddamn universe lost somebody. Wong-” he turned to face the man, who continued to stare at the floor- “there has to be a scroll like that somewhere. Bucky didn’t say that Strange gave him a location, but Shuri gave us the code that Tony keeps waving in your face. Wakandan tech translated it straight from a vision. Please,” he took a step forward, “ _please_ , try.”

Wong glanced to Steve, sighed, and took the paper from Tony. He examined it for a few seconds before his eyes widened.

“That’s…” He slid the piece of paper into his pocket and turned, making motions with his hands until orange sparks flew from them and created a circle before him. In the middle of the circle, the entrance to a completely different room took form. This all happened within the span of a few seconds.

Steve, though thoroughly confused, followed Wong when he gestured to the three of them.

“Oh, so you’ll let us into the magic library when _he_ asks for it-“

“Tony, I swear to God-“

“Hey,” Steve hushed. He gestured at Wong, who frantically moved from book to book, paging through each one before setting it open on a table in the middle of the room in a circular formation.

Before long, Wong stood before the books, staring at something unseen to the other three in disbelief.

“Wong? You alright there, bud?”

Natasha elbowed Tony in the ribcage just as Wong looked up.

“Yes, I believe- I believe this is it.”

He looked from book to book for several minutes more before he closed his eyes and began to mumble, lifting his sparking hands and tracing them through the air in front of him until he had drawn out a complex series of shapes and symbols. He opened his eyes and moved his arm back. With a final grunt, he thrust his flat palm forward. The shape began to whirl about.

Then, it stopped.

A single, triangle-shaped portal opened in the middle of the figure. Wong barely reached his hand through the opening before pulling it back, revealing a jade-green handle resting in his grip. He grinned.

Steve sighed, smiling slightly and pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

Hope.


End file.
